Beastly Desires Read online

  Rave’s leader wasn’t himself anymore. His sporadic behavior and total disregard for their relationship showed precisely what was happening. If Nico marked her, she’d poison him and that poison would spread. She’d make Nico look at the world differently, at his desires differently and at Rave differently. He couldn’t have that. He couldn’t watch that happen. He couldn’t let her come between them.

  Nico would be displeased when he got the lioness back with her neck snapped but he’d get over it. Rave would simply explain it away. He’d blame it on someone else, let them take the brunt of his leader’s disappointment. Eventually, inevitably, Nico would realize that it was for the best—that her death alongside her cub was for the best. Then she couldn’t infect him, sever the bond he’d spent so much time forming with Rave, who’d proved his worth, his loyalty. He’d been a brother, a confidant. He’d been here. And he wouldn’t have that shit on by some privileged whore. No, Rave would fix these cracks. He’d mend these things with his own hands before the ceiling caved in…

  ***

  She was mated. Kamali was mated…to a tiger…whose middle name she didn’t even know. Enilo was somewhere in the afterlife roaring about the idiocy of his offspring. And she deserved it. She deserved whatever arch look of feline disdain he was casting down on her. Why? Because she’d let herself forget. She’d let herself feel. She’d let herself fall. Kaisal’s history, his family dynamic, and his pride were all small details compared to what he’d shown her—kindness, integrity, genuine affection, and the fact he made her come so hard she could see noises. But what speared her, what took her breath away, was the protective determination etched into his gaze when he’d held Callum. There were some things a person couldn’t imitate and the look of a parent—of someone who cared—was one of them. It was written all over his expression, his body language. Callum was no better. He looked at Kaisal as if he were the answer to every problem. And that frightened her. His adoration was apparent, as was his need to remain where he felt safe.

  Kamali’s hand brushed the mark on her shoulder as she finished drying off. It looked as though Callum would get his wish. If she were being honest with herself—which she wasn’t at the moment!—she’d admit it was her wish too. A quick glance at the mirror showed her something she hadn’t seen in days—someone who was well rested. Her eyes were brighter, her skin had regained its glow, and the tension had faded from her expression. She looked alive as opposed to being on autopilot.

  She supposed she had Kaisal to thank for that. Her lips twitched as she swung open the bathroom door and her subconscious whispered, “Kaisal and his cock…”

  Pulling up short as she bumped into something wide, large, and unmoving, Kamali tipped her head back to find the man in question standing in the doorway with that same innocent expression he’d been wearing the first time she caught him sniffing her.

  “You were smelling me through the door, weren’t you?”

  He blinked, wide eyed. “Why would I do a thing like that?”

  “Because you have very clear, very perverted tendencies that disturb me.”

  His mouth twisted. “And yet you haven’t run screaming into the night as of yet.”

  “The last time I tried you impaled and bit me. I think that would make anyone cautious.”

  “Madam…” He held up his right arm, showing the imprint of a bite. “You fang-banged me first.”

  Kamali tucked in her lips.

  Kaisal leaned forward, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he grinned. “I saw that smile.”

  “That wasn’t a smile. It was a grimace.”

  He shook his head. “I know the difference. I make Naresh grimace all the time when I slam him face-first into things. I make Basanti grimace when I attempt to sing along to whatever I find on her playlist whilst practicing my high kicks and jazz hands. I make my father grimace with the sight of my face. That was not a grimace. It was a smile and oh…look at that…” Placing a finger beneath her chin, he lifted her head. “There it is again.”

  She slapped his hand away. “You’re annoying me.”

  “Am I?” Kaisal quirked a brow. “I got the impression I was amusing you.”

  “Wrong impression.” Pushing against his chest, she demanded, “Move.”

  “Someone’s cranky. How about we just fix that?”

  “I’m not… Goddammit, Kaisal put me down!”

  He whistled as he walked through the cabin and toward the kitchen, Kamali firmly over his shoulder.

  “I’m going to bite you,” she warned.

  “You bite me and you’ll not only lose this towel but you’ll find yourself stuffed full of tiger male. Go ahead, make my day,” he retorted. “Do you feel lucky?”

  She bit the inside of her cheek.

  “Well, punk?” Kaisal pushed. “Do yah?”

  “I hate you.”

  “Of course you do.”

  The bastard was patronizing her.

  Kaisal reached the kitchen and set her down at the table. “Now how about we get the angry little kitten some cocoa?”

  “I told you, that’s Callum’s weakness.”

  He smirked. “Ever had cocoa with bourbon in it?”

  She waved a hand. “You now have my attention.”

  Chuckling, he shuffled around the kitchen, moving with ease, like he had all the time in the world. Kamali didn’t know what was worse—the fact he was so comfortable, or the fact she was.

  “You’re doing it again,” Kaisal sang.

  Her shoulders tensed. “Doing what?”

  “Analyzing something you will never understand.” He reached up into a cabinet just off the microwave and his shoulders flexed. There were so many scars on his evenly tanned skin, and yet they all made him look perfect rather than maimed. He was wide and muscular with a light dusting of dark chest hair that trailed down his torso. His stomach was well defined and his shoulders broader than she’d originally thought. It didn’t matter how he moved, the delineated muscles of his form stretched and flexed with feline grace. She imagined that muscle put to work beneath Army fatigues as he cut across enemy territory. In his home earlier she’d noticed the many medals and plaques on his wall from his days as a SEAL. Kamali had briefly wondered how many times an adversary saw him coming, how many times his pale eyes were the last things they witnessed before death.

  The thought should’ve disturbed her but when she reflected on the intensity of that same glare as he’d so succinctly explained to her earlier that she and Callum belonged here, she could only be grateful for it. Even in his fierceness he was gentle. The man was an anomaly. Had the soul of a warrior but the heart of a lover. Somehow he’d managed to balance both into the individual softly humming and pouring her cocoa into a mug. He added the bourbon and topped it with whipped cream.

  Obviously feeling that he was under her observation he said, “Ask,” before making his way to the table, setting down the mugs, picking her up, adjusting himself in her seat, and then placing her directly on his lap.

  Kamali went to get up and he held fast. “Relax.”

  Kaisal brushed her mark with his lips and she went lax, growling when he laughed softly.

  “Don’t be rude. I just gave you alcohol and chocolate with whipped cream. I feel like that constitutes at least a kiss and light nuzzling.”

  “How about I just don’t throw hot cocoa into your lap?”

  “That works too…”

  He really needed to stop that, making her smile. He’d already accused her of sexually assaulting him once today.

  Strong fingers lightly pressed into the nape of her neck. “Now what is it that you wanted to ask me?”

  “I didn’t—”

  He firmly gripped her hair and tugged her head back, whispering, “Lying to me will get you nowhere aside from over my lap with a warm ass.” Kaisal nipped her earlobe. “Now, the truth please.”

  Shaking as he released her, Kamali squeezed the mug in her hands. “Your uh…family… From India?” Nice
. Really nice. Articulate.

  “Only my mother’s side,” he answered in a mild tone, slowly rocking his long legs.

  “And your father’s?”

  “Russia.”

  “Ah.” That explained the blend of his facial characteristics. The way his nose widened at the tip and his eyes slanted just a bit at the corners. The hard line of his jaw and his sharp cheekbones. Lunacy may have been a part of his gene pool but so were enthralling features—including the eyes steadily burning into the back of her head.

  “What about your pride?” Kaisal gently prodded.

  Kamali bit her lip. “Didn’t you read my file?” She would bet anything that her entire family history rested in wherever he’d found her given name.

  He sat forward and placed his mug down, wrapping his arms about her waist. “What I got was a basic outline of your life. What I want is for you to tell me.”

  She sucked in a deep breath and waited a beat before saying, “My father came from a small Yorubian village in southern Benin where they worshipped Orisha Aja—patron god of the forest, the animals within it, and herbal healers. Long before he was born his village was attacked by a tribe in opposition to my great-great-great grandfather Bem’s leadership. They were almost wiped out in the battle. Bem blamed Aja, cursed him for leaving them defenseless while he kept his precious animals safe.”

  “I’m going to assume that didn’t go over too well.”

  Her lips curved. “And you would be right.” She glanced at him over her shoulder. “It was said that his war cry reached the heavens. From my understanding, Aja was duly pressed and insulted that someone would dare to challenge a god so he cursed Bem and all his ancestors.” Kamali thought a moment and added, “O kigbe jade bi ohun eranko, nitorina ni mo ce yoo o Íkan.”

  Kaisal placed his chin at the top of her head. “And that means…?”

  “You cry out like an animal, so I will make you one,” she answered. “Bem and the survivors were made into a pride of lions. Aja’s plan backfired when they embraced it. They then had the ability to protect themselves from another attack and with a few experimentations with the local aj¹, or witches, they quickly adjusted their circumstances and regained their human sides.” Kamali ran her finger around the rim of her mug. “The gene spread and here I am.”

  “Was your mother…?”

  “No,” she retorted quickly. “She was fully human and promised to someone else but Enilo loved her enough that he was willing to fight for her. He did and he won.”

  “But?”

  Swallowing, she gave him what he was looking for. “But the gestation period for a cub is a lot shorter than that of a human baby. I grew too fast for her body to catch up and by the time my birth occurred…” Her voice trailed off.

  Kaisal kissed the nape of her neck. “I’m sorry.”

  “You didn’t kill her.” That honor had gone solely to Kamali, and Enilo’s eyes had held it every time he looked at her. She saw it, she felt it. She was a byproduct of what he’d loved and lost; she was simply what was left behind. He resented her for it, tried to control her, manipulate her.

  Large hands gently squeezed her own. “Your claws are out, princess.”

  Kamali stared down at her digits and retracted them.

  “You’re not the only one with an epic family history, you know,” Kaisal stated in a teasing tone.

  “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  “So…?” She waited.

  “So…?”

  Looking over her shoulder, she raised her brows.

  He raised his own back and then said, “Oh! I don’t have an epic family history. I just thought you should be aware that you aren’t the only one with an epic family history.”

  “What, pray tell,” Kamali questioned, “is wrong with you?”

  “Wasn’t spanked enough as a child.” His smile was all sparkling teeth against burnished skin—the same way it had been in the deli. “Would you like to remedy that?”

  “Depends on whether or not I get to use something sharp and spikey.”

  He pouted. “Why do you want to hurt me?”

  “Because you irritate me.”

  “Heh. I now understand why Naresh told me to just lay down the law before I marked you.”

  They both froze. Every muscle in Kamali went rigid. “I’m sorry…what?”

  “Err…”

  “Err?” She twisted around. “Err?”

  He tucked in his lips. “Before we get irrational, let’s calmly discuss what it is I just said.”

  Kamali would later admit that was the moment she got really irrational.

  ***

  “Kamali just…Hey! That was almost my head, unstable female!”

  “That’s the point!” Kaisal’s mate roared in response, rearing backwards with a plate in her hand, aiming for his skull.

  “Wait!” He held up his hands. “Just wait!”

  Kamali stilled, fire in her eyes.

  “Marking you wasn’t planned.”

  She grunted at him. Grunted!

  “I’m telling you it wasn’t.” His tone was soft and steady. “I discussed it—”

  “See,” she interrupted. “That in particular is the issue here. You discussed it with two other people aside from me and one of them happens to be Naresh! The same idiot who told me my tits had a great bounce when I ran past him earlier!”

  His brother was scum—correct about her tits but scum.

  “It was a suggestion made while discussing what to do to prevent Nico from being able to get anywhere near you or Callum. And allow me to once again point out”—he lifted his arm—“that you marked me first.”

  Another grunt. At least she wasn’t throwing things anymore.

  “Think about it, sweetheart. There’s no way I could’ve planned what happened today.” He arched his brows a bit. “I call myself a god in bed, but even Zeus has to replenish his bolts before he can strike again. And you got hit by lightning way more than once…”

  Her eyes narrowed the tiniest bit.

  “Kamali,” Kaisal coaxed, stepping away from the corner of the kitchen. “I’m not attempting to control or manipulate you. All I want to do is protect you.”

  Her jaw worked as she placed the plate down. “Do you know what my biggest battle with my father was?”

  He waited.

  “He always thought he knew better. He always thought he could anticipate what would be good for me but he never stopped to ask what I needed, what I wanted. Handing me things, sending me off, placing my name on businesses were his ways of wanting me to hide and pretend like he loved me, pretend like I didn’t have a price on my head simply for breathing.” She placed her hands on the table and leaned forward, her stare intent. “And we fought—we were always fighting—because I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t bend to having someone control every aspect of my life.”

  Kaisal opened his mouth to respond but she held up a hand. “Staying here is a good decision, the right decision, but I won’t be treated like a child. I won’t bury my head in the sand. You’re not sending me away if and when Nico finds me. And the next time Naresh says anything about my tits I will hit him so hard that he begins to sing in old Hebrew.” Kamali sucked in a breath. “Understood?”

  He blinked, then squinted. “I don’t really think I’m supposed to have an erection right now…”

  “Kaisal.”

  “Don’t blame me! Blame yourself!” He waved to his crotch. “It was the vicious growl!”

  “Why do I talk to you?” She threw up her hands and turned to leave the kitchen but Kaisal moved faster than she could predict and grabbed a hold of her.

  “I heard you.”

  “But were you listening?”

  Kaisal exhaled. “I can’t promise I won’t want to shield you from every little thing, and I won’t lie and say I’m not planning to attach a small, barely perceptible tracking device to every item of clothing you and Callum own—”

  “Kaisal.”

&n
bsp; “—however,” he continued. “I’m wise enough to understand that you have weapons; weapons you use frighteningly well; weapons that look as though they’ve been recently cleaned. Therefore I’m either going to have to allow some things or find myself almost shot…again.”

  She was silent for a minute. “That’s your response?”

  “Umm…were you expecting something else? Something a little dark…poetic…romantic?”

  When Kamali lifted her eyes and they were pure gold he had to bite back a smile lest he risk losing his throat. “You’re just a few scant seconds away from maiming me, aren’t you?”

  “Brutally.”

  “Ah, then I better speak quickly.” He lifted her and placed her on the edge of the table, pinning her in on either side with his hands. “Allow me to address all of your misguided rage.”

  “Misguided?”

  “Shh,” Kaisal placed a finger against her lips. “Your reigning lord and ruler of all you survey is speaking. Don’t interrupt.” He pulled away when she snapped her canines together. “I know who you are, princess. I know precisely who I’m dealing with, and I understand I can’t cage you. I don’t want to cage you. As dangerous as it is, as inconceivable as it may be, I like the way you seem to unintentionally pull my tail. I like the way you look at me when you think I’m oblivious.” She dropped her gaze and Kaisal tapped his biceps. “This is quite possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me, and do you know why?”

  Kamali shook her head.

  “It showed me I’m not the only one losing control. I’m used to my life being structured, simplistic, but you’ve changed that. You chose me. You trust me. And I’m not particularly sure you should.” He lifted her chin. “This is new to me. It’s fucking terrifying because I don’t want you to ever regret this.” Brushing against her mark, he watched the way her hands fisted. “I don’t want you to ever question why you allowed it to happen. And I sure as fuck don’t want to open my eyes one morning and find you standing over me with a pillow in your hand and a contemplative expression on your face.”

  She smiled.

  Kaisal twirled one of her curls around his forefinger. “I want to wake up to this on my pillow every day, imitating a mane. I want to watch Callum grow into his paws and be there to witness the first time he realizes how powerful he truly is. And I want to fight with you. But if we fight, it’ll be because I asked you to bury your head in my crotch, not the sand.”