What a Bear Needs (The Wild Side) Page 8

  Maddox had poured kerosene on a flickering flame and the burn it left behind wasn’t a scarring one; scars she could’ve dealt with. Instead, Cree’s skin had been overheated for the last hour and no matter how long she’d stayed under the spray of a cold shower, the warmth wouldn’t pass. At the moment, she’d found herself on her back, watching the blades of her ceiling fan turn undeterred. Every so often she thought she could hear Maddox moving about her home, just as restless as she was, but then the silence—aside from the steady rhythm of her heartbeat—would resonate.

  He’d sent her to her room; like a child. Maddox had kick-started an arousal that she’s previously managed to stem in his presence and then without a second thought, he’d sat her away from him. The question was why? Why’d he kiss her like he had every intention of fucking her incoherent if he had no plans to follow through? Why did she even care? Before Cree arrived home to find him hanging about like a squatter, she’d had the sole purpose of leaving and never looking back but now she found herself unable to do anything other than imagine the feel of his rough palms scraping against her nipples.

  There was so much power in his physique; so much strength. As a grizzly, he was naturally large with wide shoulders and a build that carried well cut, well-proportioned muscle. Maddox also had tree trunk sized thighs, huge calves and feet that could find a natural resource of water just from stomping the ground hard enough. His hands were as darkly tanned as the rest of him but heavily scarred from the work he did for his and Ransom’s business and the active part he played in helping with regular construction on the lodge.

  The easy roll of his shoulders and his unconscious habit of lifting the hem of his shirt to brush sweat from his face, revealing a hard bricked stomach that was nothing short of perfection, were things that regularly distracted Cree. When he’d given her his tee this morning, she found herself in awe of the raw, rough edged, masculine beauty he held. His chest was lightly dusted with hair that ran from his pecks down to his navel, leading into the waistband of his boxer briefs.

  The way he’d looked in those sweatpants and nothing else earlier had momentarily stunned her. Even in her angst, his body made her ache. Whereas a good portion of pack males and Maddox’s older brother had tattoos, her hazel eyed grizzly had chosen to allow his form to display nothing aside from the delicious mars against his skin he’d garnered over the years. Somehow, that very thing made him so much more appealing in her eyes. She’d never known an attraction like this, a basic primal desire; not even with other lovers. What she felt for Maddox was different, it was raw. It was animalistic and loud and all consuming. It left her breathless and confused.

  From the moment he’d leaned across the reception desk and leered at her, oozing every bit of charm he possessed, she’d known she would be in way over her head. Every day that had passed since then proved her right. It was easier to do him physical harm than to allow him intimacy. Once that happened, Cree understood that all bets were off and she’d be lost forever. That kiss had done nothing but solidify her point and the longer she lay here, eyes wide open, the longer she wondered why he hadn’t simply given into something she was willfully offering. What was the point of pretending anymore? What was the point of fighting it?

  Cree was more than aware that running now would be most assuredly moot. He’d follow her and everything about the grizzly told her there’d be retribution if he had to track her down. The ever tightening spot she had between a rock, a hard place and her desire to be on Maddox’s cock at the moment was getting uncomfortable.

  What did she do? How was she supposed to sleep when she was physically and emotionally in turmoil? Granted, she was being melodramatic. The physical part was only so acute because the cause was literally a few feet away, his scent sharp and the need to feel his skin beneath her palms was biting.

  Cree closed her eyes, a hard breath whistling between her clenched teeth. Kicking her comforter away caused a friction between her thighs that left her panting. Her fists clenched at her sides as hunger roared up her torso and settled on the beaded points of her nipples. She placed a palm against her belly, her heartbeat steadily picking up until it was a heavy base. Maddox was the cause and he should fucking fix it but what good would that do when they were already stumbling around one another like the blind?

  “Rock, hard place, cock…” she mumbled.

  What, exactly, were you supposed to say to a man after he destroyed every legitimate argument you had and felled your heart with ease? “I understand that you love me and if I were being honest, I’d tell you I love you too but there’s one issue…there may come a time where I decide your insides would look better on your outside.” Her laughter got caught in her throat. The reality of it was, loving him put them both at risk in ways that could damage everything around them. A small selfish voice whispered that she’d given up enough, she’d done enough to redeem parts of herself that left her feeling ashamed and wary. How did you redeem a soul that was already condemned to spend a lifetime walking through misery?

  Quiet and still, Cree focused on her breathing—focused on anything other than Maddox’s presence—and tried to find some equilibrium. She failed; miserably. Rubbing her palms over her eyes didn’t help to stem the suddenly restless urge she had to run, hunt, push off the aggressive energy that had gathered inside and coiled like a cotton mouth, looking for the most vulnerable time to strike.

  So determined not to notice the grizzly in the next room, she didn’t hear his footsteps until he stood just outside her door, silent. There were several options here but she bypassed them all and took the childish route, deciding to say nothing.

  “I know you’re not asleep, Cree,” he announced. The wood of her door shuddered and she guessed that he was leaning against it. “Which means you’re just as edgy as I am.”

  She folded her arms across her chest and tucked in her lips.

  There was a soft chuckle. “Ah, I see. Someone’s moody because I wouldn’t satisfy all of their dirty little urges.”

  Her mouth dropped open. Son of a bitch. “Go fuck yourself, Maddox.”

  He snorted. “You’ll be more than delighted to know that one has already tried a bit of self-love, man to hand combat, ham smacking, roping the calf, and or romancing the stone but found it lacking and rather poor in performance.”

  An image of Maddox with his member in hand, eyes glinting as he slowly stroked himself came to mind. Stop it! Stop it right now! No I said STOP! I definitely didn’t say mentally put yourself on your knees between his legs! What was wrong with her?!

  Too many desires, too many emotions, too many compulsions, a slight voice answered and Cree recognized it to be one of her beasts’.

  No, no, no. You’re to remain silent and distant.

  Why? The male is willing and rather sturdy.

  So yeah, you. Quiet. Now. Please and thank you.

  Blessed silence occurred and what disturbed Cree the most was the fact that it had actually listened to her.

  “I’m losing my fucking mind,” she whispered.

  “Are you letting me in for cuddling or not?” Maddox demanded. “I’m tired, I’m sore from your Lilliputian couch and I really want a chance to grope you unhindered.”

  “How are any of those good reasons to allow you sanctuary within my quarters?”

  “I’m a bear. I don’t have to be logical. I just have to breathe and everything in my life aligns. Now be a good little girl and open the door before I give into the urge to knock it down.”

  “You kick down my door and I’ll—” She didn’t even get the chance to complete that particular sentence before the hardwood was crashing into the floor. Cree looked from the door to the carpeting and then towards the insane male standing in her bedroom’s threshold, arms folded, brow slightly rising in a challenge. “Have you lost your goddamned mind?” she questioned lowly.

  “You set this ball in motion, darling. Take the consequences.” He sidestepped the ruin he’d caused and strolled toward her
bed. “Move to the left, I like the right side.”

  “I am not—you overgrown bastard!” Cree caught herself before he rolled her completely off of the edge of the bed. Suddenly she was being dragged backwards and covered in an unnatural amount of muscle and hair.

  Maddox situated her until she lay on her side facing away from him and then he curled around her, one hand cupping her left breast and the other cupping her sex. A screech started in the back of her throat, working its way up to a full blown bellow but it got stuck and crushed when his thumb flicked over her nipple.

  “Quiet yourself and enjoy the warmth of my unyielding masculinity,” he commanded. “We can be angsty and irritable in the morning.”

  “Maddox—”

  He growled low. “For fuck’s sake just have one moment where you aren’t thinking about the worst possible scenario. Have one moment where your focus is on how good this feels, at this very second. You wanna debate the potential hazards of us in the morning? Great. Fine. Fucking wonderful. But not now, Cree. Not when I’ve spent my nights talking to the moon and wondering when this would happen; wondering when I could get you to stop denying that this is as natural as your next inhale. No rationalizing. No thinking. No contemplative moments. Lie here, shut up, let me hold you and go to sleep. That’s all. No more and no less.”

  She swallowed and closed her eyes. Arguing would get her nowhere. Immoveable. That’s what Maddox was and she had no desire to bring a halt to something that momentarily stopped her inclination to run; so Cree did as he said. Relaxing back into him, she blew out a hard exhale and decided against the worry that was a led weight in her belly.

  “Thank you,” he whispered against her temple before placing a kiss there.

  Responding wasn’t an option with feelings that she’d never thought possible clogging her throat. She only nodded. Nodded and questioned how much longer he’d be here until he caught a true glimpse at what rested inside.

  ***

  Cree’s gasps were what woke Maddox. The stilted, hard inhales jolted him upwards. Her sleek form twisted in the sheets, hands fisting the material of her too large shirt as she arched away from the mattress.

  “Cree?”

  She shook her head when he reached out, lashes fluttering. “Don’t. Don’t touch me.” Her shoulders left the bed and an animalistic sound burst from her lips. “No. No. No! Not now!”

  He watched in horror as she suddenly cried out, rolling from the bed and onto the floor.

  “Cree!” Maddox scrambled to the other side, reaching for her.

  She wrapped her arms about herself, sweat beading just over her brow as her chest heaved. Her hands clutched at her shoulders and he could see it the moment they began to alter. Cree’s fingers contorted and a groan left her. Claws sprang from her nails as black fur sprouted and soon the pads of her hands hit the floor. Her head dipped low then jerked back up once more.

  When her eyes opened wide they were no longer human; no longer hers. Bright yellow with hard black pupils, they gazed up at him as she hunched over, her mouth dropping open to reveal distended canines. One word drifted from her in a low, rumbling growl that shook Maddox to his core, “Run.”

  His grizzly nudged, pushed, trying to get his feet to move but he refused. If he ran now, she’d remember, she’d know that he wasn’t strong enough to face whatever this was with her. So he stood there, he stood and watched as Cree became something else, as it took over and forced its way out. He listened to every cry, every snarl and he never moved except to drop to his knees.

  Cree’s hands fisted as she pounded the floor, sobbing.

  Maddox tentatively angled towards her, pushing her hair back. “Hey. Hey. Look at me, Cree.” She shook her head. “Yes,” he challenged. “Look at me.”

  Her head rose and she blinked. The hopelessness in her stare broke his heart. He clenched his jaw and grasped one of her hands. “Let go, baby.”

  She tried to turn away from him. “No.”

  “Cree, I’m asking you to trust me. Just let go.”

  “I won’t come back,” she cried.

  “You will,” Maddox growled. “I swear to God, I’ll make sure that you do but you’re putting yourself through unnecessary pain and I can’t keep watching that so you have to let go.”

  Panting, she raised her watery stare. “Don’t make me do this Maddox.”

  “I don’t have a choice, darling,” he breathed, cupping her face.

  Maddox pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose and murmured, “I’ll be here the entire time. I won’t leave you. I won’t lose—”

  She jerked away and tumbled to her back. A low rolling of a bay came from her throat, transforming into an all-out roar as the beast inside finally clawed its way out; overtaking her in one fell swoop. The fur on her hands spread while her bone structure realigned and mutated. Cree ripped away the shirt and her chest seemed to cave in before pushing outwards again. Every second looked agonizing, every second left him on edge and then there was silence.

  A black panther lay where the love of his life once was, its torso expanding with each breath. There was a soft chuff and then it was rolling to its side, large form adjusting once it got to its belly. Its muzzle rose from the floor as it seemed to suddenly notice his presence and stiffened, before casting that light stare his way.

  Maddox didn’t moved, didn’t even flinch. Cree was in there. No matter how deep it may have been, she was in there. He reminded himself of this fact repeatedly as the beast got to its feet and made a step in his direction. Without breaking the panther’s intent gaze, he rested against the side of Cree’s bed and waited. It assessed him.

  Tucking in his lips, he blew out a hard breath through his nostrils then simply said, “Hi.”

  The beast obviously had no interest in small talk because it lunged, pinning Maddox to the bed with its paws placed against his shoulders. Stiletto sharps claws extended but left the muscles unpierced.

  He then found himself staring up into irises so pale that the only things discernable were the pupils. A snarl that looked less than friendly in the pitch black of Cree’s bedroom and a weight pressing into his chest that was incredibly disconcerting, accompanied said irises.

  “Since I have a penis—no matter how small it may be at the moment because of what is currently occurring—I will not lose what little dignity I have left and scream,” he quietly said. A soft puff of air wafted across his temple. “It’s quite obvious that I don’t have much by way of options right now. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you’re studying me because I’m absolutely beautiful and not because you want to see what my thighs muscles taste like with a light seasoning of lemon pepper and a garnish of basil.”

  Maddox could clearly see that feline face, infinitely black, ears pressed to its skull, lip curled. “It really doesn’t matter what form Cree takes,” Maddox murmured. “That look of disgust and disdain is fully recognizable.”

  It watched him closely and yes, it looked as though it were weighing whether or not his death would be entertaining enough to hold its interest. “I take it you’re not here for possible spooning.”

  The panther leaned forward and he wondered how long he could keep up his comedy stylings before it got annoyed with his presence. He could always shift and slap it around but he’d risk hurting Cree and that just couldn’t happen.

  He drew in a slow deep breath, the muscles in his lower back screaming in protest of his falling asleep on furniture that was entirely too small for his much larger frame. If Maddox had a choice, Cree would’ve been in his bed, enjoying the dexterity of his mattress.

  Sadly, all he’d gotten accomplished was glaring at the ceiling and listening to her restless movements in the next room before eventually giving into the urge to make her acknowledge his presence. Some semblance of a truce had taken place between them, only for Maddox to have to deal with an overgrown Bombay making itself quite comfortable of his most vital parts.

  “On a scale of one to ten, how frien
dly are you, Mr. Cuddles?” he muttered, reaching out a hand. The snarl it emitted made him withdraw said rather hand quickly. “That would be a negative three eh? Was it the mister that caused offense? Because to be honest, you’re quite pretty; if a bit…heavy.”

  It growled.

  He grimaced. “Did I say heavy? I meant sturdy. Sturdy is most definitely the word for you. And if I may add—”

  The cold wet nose that pressed to his is what truncated Maddox’s words.

  “Okay,” he softly stated. “You’re fucked off because Cree leashes you, all of you. I understand that, really I do, but this is not the way to endear yourselves to her because let’s be honest—you need one another.”

  That muzzle pulled back a bit as the panther’s ears twitched. Its head lowered, maw opening and then it roared. The echo of it seemed to shake the very floor beneath them, sounding off its frustration as aggression made its fur stand on end.

  Irritated, his grizzly shoved against its own confines and he didn’t cage it this time. No, he allowed the panther to feel the full force of his own resentment—his disappointment—as he leaned forward and met its roar with one of its own. The bed frame trembled along with Cree’s dresser. Maddox felt tension that had been steadily mounting for days pour out with every reverberation of sound that left him.

  The feline froze in its place, looking as though it wanted to recoil. But it stayed, obviously determined not to show any vulnerability.